The Pep Talk
I was really touched and overwhelmed by the comments some of you left on my post about confidence last week. Many of you have gotten over their confidence issues, but there were some who are still trying or haven't even started. So, I thought I'd share some of the ideas that help me feel more confident about myself and the things I do!
1. You don't have to prove anything to anyone but yourself. Why? Because no one truly cares. Sure some people might outwardly pressure you to be this and that, but they're doing it for their personal gratification - not yours. Do what makes you happy and fulfilled. That's something that no one else can define for you, so stop listening to everyone who says you can't and shouldn't. Fuck them. Just do it!
2. You're never as ugly as you think you are. We are our own worst critic most of the time, and we endlessly cut ourselves to pieces comparing ourselves to this "perfect" girl we know. The truth is that she also probably has her own demons to battle with, comparing her skinny perfect self to someone "better" than her. You have to let go, to end the self-flagellation.
It may be hard to believe but all of us are beautiful in some way. Inner beauty aside, we all have physical features that are enviable. For example I might have a flat nose and huge arms, but I have great legs and naturally curly hair that girls fry their own hair for. It's just a case of seeing the glass as half full instead of half empty! So stop seeing all your faults and focus on all the good things about yourself.
List it down if you have to, then play them up whenever you dress up or do your makeup. See the difference positive self-awareness instead of self-flagellation makes!
3. No one is watching and waiting for you to fail. When I was younger I was into public speaking - elocution, debate. I would also sing. Before I step on stage I would go cold all over because I was nervous. What if I miss a note or forget my lines? Well, I usually missed a note and forgot my lines. But see, after a while of doing that, I realized that people don't think any less of me. They don't remember my mistakes - they remember that I had the guts and the talent to just go up there and try.
Many of us are afraid of trying something simply because there's the possibility of failure. No one wants to fail, more so in front of a crowd or social circle. But here's the thing about failure: no one is hanging on the edge of their seats waiting for you to make The Mistake. No one but you, that is. Everyone else is busy living their own lives and facing their own problems - why would they obssess about yours, unless it affects them directly?
What I'm trying to say is, stop being so self-conscious about what other people will think or say about the things you want to do. No one is watching, so you might as well try and then succeed (or fail) spectacularly.
And that's it really. These are the simple ideas that I live by. I do think that they're the reason I'm a happy person - because I believe in myself, don't let anyone get me down (least of all myself), and do the things that make me happy.
Try it, it just might work. :)
