The Sex Talk: How well do you know your hymen? Are you still a virgin Without It?
Editor's Note: We believe that virginity, birth control, and sex are still opaque topics here in the Philippines. A discussion about these things with our parents mostly involves them telling us never to have intercourse or get pregnant until we're married. However, that is hardly a deterrent for women to make unwise choices. At Project Vanity, our ultimate goal is to empower women by providing them information about their own bodies so they feel more confident navigating their world.
In The Sex Talk, a new section here at PV, we aim to consult with doctors and experts about common questions we feel should be answered by women, for women.
Unless you’re lucky enough - or unlucky enough, depending on your perspective - to have had an awkward talk about The Birds and the Bees with your parents, odds are you ended up learning about how the reproductive system works from friends, movies, or even a graphic romance novel. Sadly, those sources aren’t always the most reliable, especially when taboo topics are concerned. Our conservative culture also restricts much of the discussion on the act of sex itself rather than dealing with the specifics like how the female anatomy works. As such, one of the most misunderstood topics is the hymen and its role (or lack thereof) in a woman's virginity.
To help us navigate this sensitive topic, we got some help from Dr. Rowena Rivera, an OB-GYN at The Medical City and instructor at the Ateneo School of Medicine and Public Health. She explains, “The hymen is just a membrane, which can be thin or thick, and covers the opening of the vagina. It really has no purpose, no protective function. It’s just part of the anatomy that covers the vaginal opening.”
Each woman's hymen is also unique . She tells us that some hymens only partially cover the vaginal opening while others cover the the entire opening but have small holes in them. Some women are even born without any hymens at all, while others have hymens that fully block the vaginal opening and prevent menstruation from exiting the body. With an imperforate hymen, a woman can already be in her late teens and still not experience having a period. It can result in painful monthly cramps, and requires surgery to rectify.
An Intact-ful Discussion
Ever wondered about the status of your hymen? There are two ways to find out. First, you can ask your OB-GYN on your next checkup to have a look for you. He or she can tell you what it looks like and how much of the vaginal opening it covers. You can also opt to simply take a look at it yourself! Self-examination may seem weird or intimidating at first, but as Dr. Rivera states, it’s useful to learn about your own personal anatomy. It's your body - why be disgusted or uncomfortable with it?
To check your own hymen, get into a comfortable position, spread the labia (the outer folds of your vagina), and use a hand mirror. You’re basically looking for a bit of tissue immediately surrounding the vaginal canal; it’s hard to describe exactly as it looks different for different people.
Different kinds of hymens (Image via Wikipedia)
Breaking Barriers
Now that you know what the hymen is and what it looks like, let’s discuss the many stories and ideas that surround this little piece of tissue. In the highly romanticized version, the hymen is usually depicted as “the last barrier” between a woman and her first penetrative sexual experience. “Losing” it is sometimes pleasant, sometimes painful, and sometimes a bit bloody.
In real life, however, that same fragile membrane is fairly easy to tear, even without sexual congress. “Strenuous activity such as biking or horseback-riding can break the hymen,” says Dr. Rivera. “Menstrual cups and tampons can also have the same effect.“ But have no fear; the breakage won’t have any negative effect on you. In fact, you might not even feel it! And if your hymen is perforate to begin with (most usually are), you should have no trouble inserting tampons, menstrual cups, and other objects.
Given how easy it is to break the hymen, assuming that you have one at all, we asked Dr. Rivera if it could be considered as an indicator of one’s virginity. She tells us: the reality is that there is currently no other physiological manifestation of having already engaged in penetrative sexual activity. And even then, it can be dicey. “There is no definite way to know if the lack of a hymen is specifically caused by a penis or something else,” she explains. The doctor can inspect and describe whether the hymen is intact, but won’t be able to say for sure if the patient has been sexually active based on the hymen’s state.
Since the hymen is an unreliable indicator for sexual experience, it’s a bit disturbing to realize that a lot of people still prize it as proof of a woman’s virginity. In some parts of the world, the state of one’s hymen may even be a matter of life or death if a society’s cultural traditions encourage violence against “impure” women. Here in the Philippines where a woman’s virginity continues to be “highly prized”, Dr. Rivera shares that she has had patients who go to great lengths to show that their hymens are still intact.
Building Walls
For women who (for personal or medical reasons) wish to have an intact hymen, they can ask their doctor for a hymenorrhaphy or hymen reconstruction surgery. It’s a surgical procedure where remaining tissue are stitched together to recreate the barrier to the vaginal canal. However, this procedure only works if there is enough of the hymen tissue to work with. The hymen can disappear altogether due to exercise or regular sexual penetration, so this surgery isn’t always viable.
There is also a product called the Artificial Hymens that can be inserted into the vagina prior to sex. The prosthetic membrane contains safe dyes that are released during penetration to simulate bleeding. Sounds intense, but the “hymen restoration project” is actually a thing, especially where conservative partners are concerned.
We’d like to know what you think: is the status of your hymen something that bears much weight in your life, or was it something you cared about before sex? Would you ever consider “faking it” for a partner?
Image of Dr. Rowena Rivera courtesy of The Medical City
