I'm a woman in my 40s, and here's how it's really like to age
I turned 44 recently. I was joking to everyone that I’m now a middle-aged woman. Some people told me I’ve been one when I turned 35. Some argued middle age starts at 40. So I looked it up and both the Oxford English Dictionary and Merriam-Webster said middle age is from 45 to 65. Hooray! At 44, I’m apparently still a young adult!
Since I think the ladies and gentlemen in the Project Vanity community are young folks (like me haha), you might be wondering what it feels like to be a woman in her 40s. And even if you aren’t wondering, I just want you to know it’s not so bad. But so you know I’m not patronizing you, let me tell you about what sucks first. My eyesight went bad fast. I gain weight faster now and the poundage sticks around longer. Though I’ve had strands of gray hair since I was 15, they’re sprouting out like crazy now. My face is fine because I have great skincare products but my hands give my age away. I need to nap once, sometimes even twice, a day. Gosh, I sound like an old lady!
When George Orwell was ill with tuberculosis, he wrote in his diary, “At 50, every man has the face he deserves.” The author of Animal Farm and Nineteen Eighty-Four was known to be fascinated by faces. People think only photographers, painters, performers, and makeup artists are obsessed with the visage, but writers need to paint what our characters look like with words. So we do spend hours studying how people look. Orwell didn’t get the chance to see what his own face would look like at 50 because he died from his illness at 46. Had he lived, though, he’d have seen a face that reflected his life of adventure, world travel, and ill health.
Had he lived up to the 21st century, however, Orwell would be fascinated to know that people are fighting very hard not to have their life shown on their faces. Not only do we have the very best creams and treatments invented by cutting-edge technology, but we also have a wealth of beauty centers and wellness therapies to make sure no one looks their age. Despite our status as a third-world country, the Philippine beauty industry is worth Php 150 billion, proof that the face Pinoys and Pinays have at 50 is the face they can afford.
I’m 6 years away from 50. While I don’t spend too much time and money on pampering myself, I’m aware I don’t look like a middle-aged woman. My secret lies in being happy. Yeah, I know that sounds corny but it’s true. Alright, a life not spent under the sun is the real reason. My skin isn’t leathery nor wrinkled and it doesn’t suffer from flakiness and pigmentation. So apply that sunscreen! And be happy!
And yet I also want us to have the face that shows off our life. What’s wrong with looking your age anyway? What if you love soaking up the sun? What if you enjoy late nights and partying with friends? What if your greatest pleasure is working hard, even on weekends? And if that kind of life shows up on our face at 50, so what? It’s the life we chose.
When you’re in your 40s, I hope you look like you’ve got things figured out and that wisdom and confidence will reflect on your skin and your body. When you’re in your 40s, I hope you look like you own your age and your history and that will reflect on the style of your clothes, the makeup you wear, and how you carry yourself. When you’re in your 40s, I hope you look like you’re still excited for life and what it has to offer. And whether that look is wrinkled or smooth, monochromatic and sleek or colorful and fabulous, gym-hard or loving-pleasures soft, I hope whatever you look like outside is also what you look like inside.
