Monday Musings: Snip off that negative self-talk from your life
I was scrolling through Facebook earlier this morning when I chanced upon this comic strip by War and Peas. I shared it on my social media platforms but I thought it deserved a spot on Project Vanity too!
The other day I was having dinner with a friend whom I haven’t seen in years. She said, “I see you’re a jewelry designer now!” referring to my brand Nobela.
“I’m not a jewelry designer,” I said immediately. “I just have stuff made. I’m not yet a true designer.” This has actually been on my mind lately. I’ve been chewing on the fact that yes my brand is doing well but everything is still derivative, unoriginal. I don’t have a design language yet, therefore I’m not a real jewelry designer.
“But didn’t you design this?” she pointed to the pieces that I’m wearing that evening. I said I did. “So what do you mean that you’re not a designer?”
Indeed, what do I mean? Again I found myself stumbling over my deep, deep puddles of negative self-talk. Perhaps I don’t have a strong design language yet but that is something to be learned over time. Years. I can’t expect to come into ANYTHING fully formed and competent. That’s silly. That’s what I would tell everyone else except apparently myself.
As I’m getting older I’m realizing more and more that life, as huge and complex and confusing it is, is made up of choices. That’s it. Certainly there are more things that are out of our control than the ones within, but we can choose to let those go and be at peace with that too. The moment that we think we are completely powerless is the moment that we fully drown in our own victimhood - and the worst part is that we are often the ones oppressing ourselves.
I personally am often cruel to myself. I am the hardest on myself, the most unforgiving when it comes to reaching for my goals. I feel like I’ve gotten better about this through the years as I accept that perfection is impossible but it’s a process, and I’m still obviously working on it.
That’s why that War and Peas comic hit hard for me. I don’t allow other people to come into my garden and kill the vibe, so I shouldn’t do it to myself either.
It’s going to be a good day.
