I feel ugly. It's all the stress, the junk food, the inactivity, and the fact that my hair is falling at an alarming rate. I got pimples from this new serum I tried out, so I have fresh blemishes on THE side of my face that I worked months to clear up completely. I haven't been religious with suncreen lately so my skin is uneven. 

I look at my old pictures and think, "Why can't I look like that again?" But then I saw a photo I took just yesterday.

I don't look bad. In fact, I look pretty nice! True, it's the lighting, makeup, angle, and a bit of post-processing to adjust the color - but the thing is I already had something good (i.e. myself) to work on. I know that some people treat makeup with disdain, as if it's exclusively something that women wear to cover up their insecurities. That may be true some of the time but for me, I love makeup because it makes me realize - everyday - that I am not ugly at all.

There's a recent article on the Philippine Daily Inquirer that has been gnawing on the my brain ever since I read it. It doesn't offend me or annoy me, but I am affected by it nonetheless. 

It’s not that I don’t like school. I’m just not one of those airheaded girls who just go to school to show off their latest artsy manicures, or some style they ripped off from “Gossip Girl.”

My school is already full of those girls, Blair Waldorf or Serena van der Woodsen wannabes. I wonder, when did our society cease to celebrate originality and elevate these goddesses of modern consumption?

It’s not that I have anything against these girls, but I have trouble seeing the point... Why do we actually need to get the same shade of lipstick? I entered college, not a beauty contest.

Basically, the writer is saying that she's better than her vain classmates because she doesn't wear "Gossip Girl fashion" to her school. She's always in jeans, a t-shirt, sneakers, and a Hawk bag. She rides the jeep. She denounces Victoria's Secret scents (because they "merit a biohazard warning"), as well as "those painful-looking high heels". She doesn't say it explicitly, but she thinks she's a cut above the girls who love to dress up and wear makeup.

I would call myself a relatively happy and optimistic person. The secret? I don't worry about the things I can't change. I work around them instead of cracking my head open trying to get through. I know in my bones that there are other (maybe even) better things to want, to conquer. There's always something else for me, I just need to keep an eye out for it. And so do you!

Dress, heels, belt from Forever 21 / Pinkbox bangles, ring and ribbon

Makeup: Models Own Hyper-Brite Lipstick in Annalise's Pink, Revlon ColorStay nail polish in Wild Strawberry, Stila In The Garden Palette (eyeshadows), Fairydrops Volume Burst Mascara