Liz Says, Week 3: On the question of virginity

The fact that women still worry about virginity makes me sad. But it is a very valid concern, because virginity (for some irritating reason) is still attached to how a woman is valued by society - like proverbial meat on the dating market. Here is S's concern about virginity, and what I think about it.

Hi. I'd like to ask for your opinion on virginity and the value of being a woman. Does a woman's value decrease when she's lost her virginity? Like, should she have looked after herself before her wedding night and she's dumb for not doing so? I've read forums by Filipinos and there are some men that say they prefer virgin women over non-virgins for marriage while it's okay to play around and have girlfriends that are non-virgins.

I, for one am no longer a virgin and I'm concerned that when I find the right person he might turn away because of my non-virginity. Also, I think it's quite chauvinistic for men to want to be gifted with a "pure" woman to marry when they themselves aren't "pure" (in terms of religion and morals) to begin with.

I know God detests premarital sex and I vowed to wait till marriage but the uncertainty of what this truth may bring to future relationships scare me.