Monday Musings: On that TikToker who unboxed her first luxury bag from Charles & Keith
When I first watched the Tiktok of the teen who proudly talked about her first luxury bag from Charles & Keith, I only had two thoughts. First, that Charles & Keith isn’t typically considered a luxury brand* BUT, second, good for her, what a lovely gift from her dad! I checked the comments though (an unhealthy habit of mine) and of course there were people coming at her to tell her that she is NOT the proud owner of a luxury bag. How can people live lives so joyless that they can’t let a young person just enjoy a nice thing? People can be so mean.
Thinking more about it though, I think it’s not just about being mean. There is that yes but I believe there’s something more to it.
“Content on social media that gets the most engagement…is ‘content that provokes some kind of emotional or affective response in people, whether it’s sexy or it’s outrageous or it’s enraging.’,” wrote Madison Malone Kircher on the New York Times. “The bigger that emotional reaction, the more likely someone is to engage with or share the content that elicited it,” Ms. Kircher added.
The New York Times story is about the rise of “RageToks”, basically storytime content that commands secondhand anger from the viewers. However, aside from anger, sadness, disgust, fear, and sexual arousal, I think there’s another emotion that gets people riled up on TikTok: the feeling of superiority. People seem to get a massive thrill out of correcting someone to show that they’re better than that person because, well, they know more things.
It’s so random and I’ve experienced in myself. I posted a TikTok video about some tips on how to look expensive recently. It got a modest 80,000 views, which was nice and unexpected since I don’t do a lot of fashion content. Most people who commented liked the video, but there is a thread somewhere in the comments section of people just saying how I don’t have credibility in sharing the advice because I myself don’t look expensive. I admit, I was a little hurt. Mostly I am baffled. Why do people bother?
The only answer I can come up with is that the feeling of superiority is a powerful one. It’s addictive and on top of that it’s cheap to acquire! It’s like junk food. People are wrong on the Internet all the time, and it’s rare that content creators match the ridiculously high standards that viewers place on them. My friend Martha (The Beauty Junkee) shared once that someone on one of her TikTok videos was wondering why her luxury bag collection is not like Small Laude’s. We chortled. Few people live like Small Laude!
Ariana Huffington talked about “moments of wonder” on her LinkedIn newsletter recently. “Wonder isn’t just a product of what we see — of how beautiful or mysterious or singular or incomprehensible something may be. It’s just as much a product of our state of mind. Countless things in our daily lives can awaken that state of wonder we knew as children. But sometimes to see them we have to look through a different set of eyes,” she says.
Instead of reveling in the feeling of superiority over others, why don’t we consider having more moments of wonder? For example, isn’t it more fun to enjoy that Charles & Keith unboxing with Zoe who seemed truly excited about it? She was so happy, and the fact that it’s a gift from her dad is so sweet. It made me think of the first time I bought a designer bag. It was Louis Vuitton and it was just second hand but man, I was so happy. My “moment of wonder” was when I felt like I’m finally going somewhere, because I could finally afford such a thing with my hard work.
I hope that we choose wonder over negative feelings. It takes a bit of effort and we have to put in the self-work, but it will pay off. It just makes us happier people.
*Luxury is defined by Merriam & Webster as “a condition of abundance or great ease and comfort” and “something adding to pleasure or comfort but not absolutely necessary”. So yes, a bag that makes a person happy although they don’t really need it is a luxury bag for that person. But of course, in common usage, a “luxury bag” usually means Chanel, Hermes, Louis Vuitton, Prada, and so on. I think both meanings can be true, depending on the context.
