You don't want to "get pretty" today, and that's okay
Words by Ceres Helga Barrios
I lost my job during the pandemic. And let me tell you, taking care of my skin and putting on makeup were the last things I wanted to do.
Skincare and makeup is always a fun time for me. I’m always happy when I “make myself pretty” even for no reason and despite the amount of time it takes to finish. I feel glad whenever I get to use the makeup products I worked hard to earn the money for. It’s double the serotonin boost for me when I could get ready while a new episode of my favorite show or the latest upload of a YouTuber I follow is playing in the background. I call it “my happy alone time”.
The importance of how my routine gives me confidence is only secondary, but it does help face the day and the people in the real world (some of whom can only give you the respect you need when you “look pretty”, which admittedly is a sad reality for some of us).
Sure, there were lazy days when I just preferred to sleep in and skipped all my daily routine including skincare, especially after a stressful week. I figured “letting yourself go” just for a day or over the weekend is fine. But after losing my stable job of 11 years - which was double the stress for me because I am my family’s breadwinner - this “letting myself go” became a part of my everyday life.
A little voice inside me told me that it wasn’t right. That I should force myself to get up, otherwise I might enter a downward spiral and might not recover. But a louder voice assures me, “It’s okay.” Because those times that I skipped washing my face, consciously forgetting my skincare, and especially not putting on makeup ironically felt like a relief. What was once a happy moment for me suddenly felt restricting.
Doing my makeup and looking at the products I use that made me feel accomplished before suddenly made me feel guilty. “If only I didn’t spend so much on these, maybe I’d have more savings,” or “People are literally dying and here you are coloring your face for a Zoom meeting that just washes you out,” were just some of the thoughts that hovered over my head.
People who can relate know how extreme these kinds of thoughts can get, and it can be alarming. Even the main issue of taking care of myself became irrelevant. The horde of sheet masks sitting in my vanity cannot cover and soothe the sting that’s more than skin deep.
But after some time, conversations with a good support group (a.k.a. my close friends and even some fandom chinggus), pulled me out of that downward spiral. Before I knew it, I’ve come to enjoy my skin regimen and was doing makeup again. It was mostly because I was reminded that I wasn’t alone. Part of it was the reminder to myself that I am also needed.
It’s a process, however, and improvement is not always linear. So what about days when you’re down but have an important presentation at work, or a scheduled job interview? Here are some of my thoughts and the things I’ve found to be helpful:
First of all, I say that we can very much not wear makeup if we don’t feel like it. If there are people who will judge you for that, they aren’t worthy of your precious time. If your career depends on looking beautiful, or you just don’t want to look too pale but are too tired, a quick blush or multi-pot/stick is always an easy fix (and for me, an additional brow product that’s easy to use). It just takes a minute or even less.
Whenever I need to go out but have no energy for my usual 5-step skincare routine, I at least wash my face and put on some sunscreen.
Whenever I feel that I might have a difficult time getting up at all, I drink lots of water before I go to sleep so that having to go to the bathroom forces me to get up in the morning - might as well get ready, too.
Speaking of drinking water, having a big water bottle or two next to my bed/couch helps in hydrating myself whenever I’m having a hard time getting up. We know how important hydration is to our skin and body.
Taking to a trusted loved one, like a friend or a significant other really helped me get through my hard days. Many times, I only needed to be reminded that I am not alone, and that I have to get up for the people I love.
Worse comes to worst and it still hurts, I highly suggest calling in sick. There’s always a professional ready to listen and help - if and when you’re ready to talk.
Take a break. Because at the end of the day, giving yourself a break is also taking care of you.
There is help.
National Care for Mental Help (NCMH) Hotlines:
(02) 1553
(02) 7-989-8727
0917-899-8727
Here is a validated directory of mental health facilities, services, and organizations around the Philippines: https://mentalhealthph.org/directory/