As Christmas comes round the corner and family reunions are scheduled, I bet my fellow single ladies are already preparing themselves for the question everyone loves to hate: kelan ka ba ikakasal? It’s insensitive, annoying, and frankly no one else’s business, but it gets asked anyway by the nosy and well-meaning alike. While the best way to react is to gracefully dodge the question, it’s still important to puzzle out for yourself. When, indeed, is the right time to get hitched?

We asked 10 women to share their thoughts about what they think it means to marry at the right time and circumstances. Although our society does put a lot of pressure on women to marry, it was interesting to learn that each one had pre-nuptial requirements to help them make the decision on when to get married or if they should marry at all.

Apple Noda, in a relationship for 5 years

The most practical answer is: when you are already financially, emotionally, and mentally secure. For me though, it is when you are already comfortable in your own skin – when you have loved yourself enough that you can afford to share that love to someone else. I personally haven’t reached that point yet but hopefully when I get to my late 20s to my early 30s, I’d be responsible enough to share my life with someone who is as committed to love and life as I am, regardless of how cheesy that might sound.

Peachy Baldero, married for 18 years

I got married at 26 but my husband and I wanted to get married when we were 25 and 24 respectively. It didn’t push through then because my father passed away (babang luksa). The delay gave me the chance to do more soul-searching before deciding if I really wanted to marry my husband.

I don’t think there is a right time to get married, really. I know people who got married young and were “not ready” but are still happily married. I also know people who married at a later age, having done everything and stable in their careers and finances, but are no longer together or unhappy with one another. That said, when you’re earning enough on your own, are in love with each other, and know each other well enough (you won’t really know your partner until you are living with each other), then I guess that would be the right time.

You have to think about how much you know about each other and if you can be good partners in everything, and in supporting a family on your own. A stable job and a lot of savings can also help. It’s important to have established your own individuality first because feeling inferior can have a disastrous effect on your marriage.

Jee Geronimo, single

The right time, I think, is when the couple has already reached a certain level of stability in their individual careers so that the family won’t take a backseat in their lives. Personally, I count emotional, spiritual, and financial readiness as important factors to consider.

Joanna Mungcal, in a relationship for 2 years

I’m not that excited to get married (and this is probably the millennial mindset these days). I can’t quite pinpoint the exact age, but I guess the best time is when you feel that you accept your partner, flaws and all, and when you can both live under the same roof without getting the urge to throw plates at each other.

Discussing this with my partner, we agreed to consider the money we have to earn for not only the wedding, but also future kids, a house, and taxes. We’ve also agreed that we both need to pass the Bar (we’re both law students) and get good jobs first before even thinking about marriage. More than that, we both have to grow up and stop picking fights with each other over the littlest things. We can’t both be immature in the relationship and trust that nothing will go wrong in the long run. Marriage is a really big commitment, and we really have to prepare for a lot of things. I don’t have a target age, but considering my partner’s opinion (his is 33), so I suppose it’s the opportune time because I will hopefully have passed the Bar by then.

Ceara Cheah, married for a year

I was 32 when I tied the knot. Ideally, 28 was a perfect time to settle down but I gave far more importance in searching for the right person than meeting a self-imposed deadline. I am thankful I pursued what I considered "essential" in a lifetime partner: someone who I can be myself with, and who happily takes care of me just as much as I nurture him. My husband doesn't believe in failed marriages thus we constantly strive to resolve misunderstandings and compromise on differences. We also share similar goals that we both work and aspire for. Aside from finding Mr. Right, forging a strong bond with my husband's family while we were still dating was paramount. I'm fortunate to have such supportive and loving in-laws who treat me like their own and whom I respect. I can only be grateful how life turned out for me.

Juliet Orayle, separated

I got married at 29, when I was still learning the ropes in my field. Back then, I thought 30 years old was the right age for marriage but I honestly regret my choice. I now feel it was too early for me to enter into that marriage, which didn't work out due to financial instability.

Since then, I have built my own company from the ground up, experienced the finer things in life, and found a more fulfilling relationship. I now believe that the best time to get married is when you and your partner are ready to work on something for the long-term. When discussing marriage, it’s also important to consider both partners' financial stability as well as emotional or mental maturity.

Mimi Belizario, married for 20 years

I got married in my early 20s, a few years earlier than what I thought was the ideal (25-26) at that time and probably too early by today’s standards. I met my loving husband Francis in college and we were married four years into the relationship, two of which were spent long-distance. One of, if not the biggest, factor we had to consider when we got married was the question of where we would settle down to then start a family. We were faced with the dilemma of staying in the Philippines or immigrating to the US.

I have come to realize that there is no ideal age of when to get married, but it is more of a question if a man and a woman are at a comfortable stage where they are physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, and spiritually ready. They must be mature enough to fully accept and understand the responsibilities and challenges of married life. Getting married is not easy, and keeping the marriage intact is much more difficult. It takes a lot of hard work, commitment, understanding, compromise, trust, love and most of all respect between two people. My married life remains to be a challenge, but I can definitely say that I am happy with my husband and our son, Johann.

Nadz Ruiz, in a relationship for 3 years

I think the right time depends on a woman’s (or a couple’s) goals. Some women want to get to the prime of their career. Some want career and financial stability, too. Others want to get married in their mid-20s because they want to have a baby while young. Others find their life partners early. My personal goals are to build the foundation of my career and finish my master’s degree before getting married. I think it will get harder to make big and fast moves career-wise when I’m already married, and especially when I have a child. It’s also really fun being single and free!

I don’t know if I have a target year or date yet. I seriously haven’t given it much thought, to be honest. I do believe that it’s up to every woman to decide when she wants to get married. Society has prescriptions obviously, but I believe every woman should be able to make her decision the way she wants to.

Leslie Lascay, single

I left the Philippines in my mid-20s in search of greener pastures. I stepped out of my comfort zone, enjoyed my independence, and chased my dreams so finding someone was not my top priority. It’s not easy to do that in our country, as women usually get pestered while in their 20s and are even more pressured to settle down when she hits 30.

For me, the right time is when both are ready to commit to one another and they can truly say they’ll give their 100% to make it work. Financial stability and emotional maturity are big factors to consider when you get married. If we know the person is right, is he or she ready to settle down? I think that’s always the challenge. As you gain more experience in life, you know what you can compromise, and what your deal-breakers are. It’s not easy to find a lifetime partner, and despite the constantly changing world, I still value the sanctity of marriage. I would like to think that there’s one special human out there whom I’ll get to spend forever with.

I’d say the best age would be late 20s to early 30s. This allows a person time to go out there, meet people, and discover who you really are, as well as knowing what you can bring to the table. Hopefully, I’d be able to settle down before I turn 35, or else I may need to have my eggs frozen, LOL.

Angelle Aquino, married for 20 years

My husband and I were both 20 years old and still in college when we got married. Twenty years and four children later, I find myself reminding my two kids who are still in college to finish school, find a stable job, save up, shop, and travel first before settling down. One cannot simply get married without seeing and experiencing what’s out there. Finding someone who shares the same passion or allows you to pursue yours is a must! Both parties should enter into the marriage wholly and fully that marriage is the next step to further the relationship.

Have you thought about whether you’d want to get married and what the ideal circumstances should be for that to happen? Or if you’re married, what made you decide that you were ready for a life-long commitment?

10 Women On When The Best Time Is To Get Married

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