Letter from the Editor: What to do if you're not where you want to be in your life yet
Do you ever compare yourself with your peers and wonder why they seem to be doing better than you? Do you feel like you’re not hitting your goal posts in your life, no matter how hard you work and how many sacrifices you have to make every single day? I do. I feel that way sometimes. It’s not easy to admit because I’m supposed to be already self-aware and self-actualized, but I’m very much human, and my self-esteem is not always at 100%.
One thing I used to tell myself to cope with my feelings of envy for others doing better than me: everything just looks good from afar. People are more image-conscious than ever, and with social media anyone can make their life look amazing with a bit of good lighting and some clever angles. Goodness knows my own life looks fantastic on socials, but that’s because I don’t post my low moments. Few people do.
That being said, even if most of us know at this point that what we see on socials or even in person isn’t the real story, why is it that this knowledge is not as comforting as it should be?
I recently finished reading Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson. It’s Book 1 of an epic fantasy series, and worth the 45 hours I spent listening to it on Audible. There’s a mantra there that I find helps me put things in perspective.
Life before death
Strength before weakness
Journey before destination
We’re all obsessed with getting “there”, making “it”. But where is “there”? What is “it”? I’ve seen people in my social circle achieve great things. I’ve seen the struggle and I’ve seen the moments where they finally win, at long last. But the thing is that one win doesn’t make a life. There will be more after as there were ones before. Wins aren’t meaningless but they’re just a small piece of the puzzle which makes up the summation of our life.
Life before death
Strength before weakness
Journey before destination
We need to live before we die. We need to expend our full strength before we give up and walk away. No half measures, no short cuts, but make sure to ask for help when you need it. It’s the journey that matters because we spend so much more time on that than on where we want to be, before we move on to the next destination.
If you’re not where you want to be in your life, my advice is to take the time to be present about where you are, and to reflect on how you got there. Goal posts are important and so is winning, but what’s most important is that you find your journey meaningful. If it’s not, then you have to ask yourself if the destination is worth the misery.
Remind yourself that we’re not all in the same timeline and don’t start out with the same resources. That’s okay. It’s more important that you like how you spend your average day. If you don’t, it’s time to make some changes. This is something that is likely within your power as opposed to steering a nebulous future that’s ever changing. You can control your day. So do it.
Life before death
Strength before weakness
Journey before destination
I hope that what I’ve rambled about here makes sense. Thanks for reading!
