Monday Musings: The Quiet Joy of Getting Ready for No One But Yourself

I wore red lipstick the other day to go to the grocery. Not a tinted balm, not a sheer gloss pretending to be effort—a proper red. Matte, bold, the kind that says, “I have Opinions and I read ingredient lists for fun.” No one asked me to wear it. I wasn’t meeting anyone. In fact, I was pretty sure I wouldn’t run into a soul I knew, and if I did, they’d probably be wearing pajamas and tsinelas. And yet, there I was in aisle four, selecting oat milk like I was in a Vogue spread.

There’s something deeply satisfying about getting ready for no audience, no? When I was younger, I thought makeup and style were tools of performance. They were armor, sure, but also currency. You dressed up because you should, because someone else might see you. Appearances are everything in my line of work but it definitely applies to others too. I still believe in showing up as your best self, but what I’ve come to appreciate more is showing up for yourself—even when no one else is looking.

Because here’s the thing: when you’re alone, there’s no performative layer to peel back. No need to “look effortless” (a lie we’ve all tried to sell ourselves), no anxiety over whether your look is appropriate or on-trend. It’s just about how you want to feel. And sometimes, how I want to feel is like the kind of woman who spritzes perfume before a nap. Unreasonable? Possibly. Delightful? Absolutely.

I find it oddly grounding, this ritual. Skincare, makeup, hair is not just about vanity for me (despite what this website is named). Often, it’s about control. There is so much is out of our hands these days (Trump’s trade war, inflation, adult acne, and so on), choosing your eyeliner is a small but powerful act. Lining your lips just so can make you feel like you’ve got it together, yes, even if your inbox says otherwise.

And there’s comfort in that, especially on the days when motivation is low and the existential dread is high. On those days, getting ready becomes a quiet form of resistance. Against burnout. Against invisibility. Against the idea that beauty only matters when someone else is watching.

So no, I didn’t have plans when I put on that red lipstick. But I did have standards. And sometimes, those are reason enough.