The Sex Talk: The ultimate guide on what can (and can’t) get you pregnant
Editor's Note: Virginity, birth control, and sex are still opaque topics here in the Philippines. A discussion about these things with our parents mostly involves them telling us never to have intercourse or get pregnant until we're married. However, that is hardly a deterrent for women to make unwise choices. At Project Vanity, our ultimate goal is to empower women by providing them information about their own bodies so they feel more confident about navigating the world.
In The Sex Talk, we consult with doctors and experts about common questions we feel should be answered by women, for women.
If a missed or delayed period has ever made you panic, know that you’re not alone! Thanks to urban myths and misleading information, it can get really confusing about what can and can’t get you pregnant. We decided to put a stop to this guessing game and asked for the help of Dr. Maria Rosario G. Castillo-Cheng, an obstretrician-gynecologist and perinatologist (high risk pregnancy specialist) at The Medical City in Pasig.
But first, a refresher on what we learned in science class!
For pregnancy to occur, a woman’s egg cell must be fertilized by a man’s sperm cell. The sperm has to swim up through the woman’s cervix and into the uterus, where an egg cell may be present if the woman is fertile. Ovulation, or the period in a menstrual cycle when the ovaries release an egg cell, normally happens only once a month so there is usually only a small window of time when a woman can get pregnant.
On the other hand, the sperm quality also has to be good to increase the chances for fertilization. There should be a healthy sperm count (amount of actual sperm in the ejaculate fluid), good morphology (the sperm must have both a head and a tail), and motility (the sperm’s ability to swim up to the egg). With all these factors needed for pregnancy to occur, one might conclude that it’s really not that easy to get pregnant. Well, that’s a yes and a no!
When exactly is a woman fertile?
A woman with a regular menstrual cycle (meaning one cycle lasts around 25 to 35 days) will be fertile during the middle of the cycle, from around Day 12 to Day 16. At this time, her vaginal discharge becomes more conducive for sperm to survive and move through and the egg will be ready for a possible conception.
If you haven’t been keeping track and aren’t sure what your menstrual cycle is, take note of the first day of your next period. That will be Day 1 of your cycle. Take note again of the day when you get your next monthly period - that will be Day 1 of your next cycle, so you can just count back on how many days passed between those two periods to determine the length of your cycle. You can also use natural birth control methods to help determine when you are most fertile.
Can sperm wait for an egg to become ready for fertilization?
Assuming that it’s perfectly health and meets all the requirements, sperm can live inside a woman’s body for up to 48 hours! This means that if sexual intercourse occurs even the day before the a woman is fertile, it’s possible for her to still get pregnant.
Can I get pregnant even if I only have sex once?
If all the conditions are favorable and no contraceptives were used, it is definitely possible to become pregnant. This is why you should never ever skip using protection, whether it's your first or nth time.
Can I get pregnant if I have sex while on my period?
It is unlikely. A woman would not be fertile while on her period because ovulation happens around the middle part of a regular menstrual cycle. If you do not have regular periods though, then you might have have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). In this case, it may be difficult to determine your exact fertility date. It’s best to see a doctor who can help you figure out your menstrual cycle and possibly prescribe medication to make your periods more regular.
Can I get pregnant from anal or oral sex?
No, the only way to get pregnant is through vaginal intercourse.
But what if my partner ejaculates near my vaginal opening?
The chances are extremely slim as the sperm will have to survive the external environment in addition to traveling all the way up to the uterus.
Can I get pregnant from pre-ejaculation fluid?
That is a complicated question. Pre-ejaculation fluid (or pre-cum) refers to the liquid substance that is secreted by a man’s penis during intercourse but before ejaculation. The thing is, there is no way to know whether there are any sperm left in the shaft of the penis from a previous ejaculation. If sperm is present in the shaft, then yes, there is a chance that some sperm would be mixed into pre-ejaculation fluid.
This is why men who undergo vasectomies are advised to use protection for the first two times they engage in sexual intercourse - to make sure that there will not be any sperm left in the penile shaft.
Can I get pregnant if my partner ejaculates in a pool?
No, swimming pools have chlorine that will kill the sperm. Salt water will do the same, as well. However, if your partner ejaculates inside you while you’re both in the water, you can get pregnant.
Can I increase the chances of choosing my baby’s gender?
There are claims that having intercourse at certain times of the day or during a woman’s cycle can help influence a baby’s sex. However, there are no founded studies on that as of now, so there’s no way of ensuring that the baby will be a girl or a boy outside of in vitro fertilization. With that method, several of the mother’s egg cells may be fertilized by the father’s sperm cells, and the couple can then choose which of these embryos will be implanted to continue the pregnancy.
Did we cover your question or correct what you used to know? We feel that it’s important to know about these things even if you aren’t yet sexually active because understanding how your body works enables you to make good choices for your reproductive health. Dr. Castillo-Cheng advises that if you decide to have sex, make sure to choose your partner/s well and know your options not just for family planning but protection from sexually-transmitted diseases as well.
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