Five reasons women "let go" of themselves during the pandemic
The Belo Pandemic Effect ad released last night touched a raw nerve among us women. It showed a fit, pretty person slowly get hairy, large, and pimply as the pandemic dragged on, with an invitation from Belo in the end to come give them a visit. It was the height of insensitivity, which Belo apologized for, but I think it’s worth a conversation because at the core of it is truth. This has happened to all of us, in varying degrees.
I myself have gained weight, suffered from extra hair loss, got on daily medication, and broke out often in the last year and a half. I don’t recognize myself sometimes! On bad days I avoid mirrors unless absolutely necessary. It’s been a rough time and my appearance definitely shows it.
So if it’s true, then why has the ad caused so much anger online? Because it’s cruel. “Truth without tact is cruelty,” said Kristen Bell’s therapist. The ad was showing the truth, but it ridiculed and dehumanized the subject - us. And as an extra kick in the ribs, the ending is to invite us to visit a beauty clinic for grooming.
Well. I thought I’d list down totally valid reasons why we turned into the sweaty, unibrow, AND cute little monsters we are today, so that maybe ad and brand people would rethink making crap like this again:
We lost income during the pandemic. There’s a recession right now. Businesses and jobs were lost, and those surviving are cutting down on expenses. Of course we’ve had to give up a few (or a lot) of luxuries including beauty products and treatments! If you can afford it then that’s great, if not you don’t deserve to be shamed for it.
There’s less time for self care. We’re working from home yes, but as we discovered this actually takes up more of our free time now. Delineating between work and home life is adding to our emotional labor.
Our mental health has suffered as we see friends and family getting sick or dying and experience the longest, continuing lockdown in the world. It’s hard to focus on what we look like outside when we need to work on what we’re dealing with inside. And therapy is expensive!
We have de-prioritize beauty for other more comforting pursuits, whatever they might be. Some of us got into gardening, baking, sewing, skateboarding, maybe even picked up a musical instrument. Learning a new skill gives us an instant confidence boost.
For the final, totally valid reason: we’re not the same person anymore and we want different things.
I feel like I have to say this yet again: I am a beauty writer, so of course I care about beauty products and treatments and everything related to that. I have cared about it for 13 years. It is important to me that I look good for myself, because it empowers me and motivates me. During this pandemic though, I’ve learned to give myself a break. I don’t have to be 100% on all of the time. I don’t have to be ok all of the time. Sometimes I just need to not care for a while - that doesn’t make me lazy or less, well, me. It just gives me the space to grow further into who I am becoming.
I don’t know who needs to hear this but please, be kind to yourself and to other people. We’re all dealing with this pandemic in our own ways.
