Monday Musings: When Acne Tests My Self-Confidence

I’m on day 12 of isotretinoin, and my skin is breaking out like crazy. I know purging is part of the process, but this cystic acne just won’t quit! My chin is so swollen that even moving my mouth aches. have pimples on pimples. My lips are dry and my skin feels ridiculously rough. I’m trying to stay calm, reminding myself that this is temporary, just two more weeks, maybe four—but honestly? It’s taking every ounce of maturity and self-confidence I’ve built over the past 20 years to not completely freak out right now.

I feel like everyone is looking at my acne and judging me for it. What kind of beauty editor has skin like this? Logically, I know it’s just the spotlight effect—no one actually cares that much—but emotionally, it’s a challenge. So yes, I’m feeling a little sorry for myself lately.

I keep reminding myself that this is part of the process, that my skin is literally pushing out years of congestion. But in the moment, when I catch my reflection in harsh lighting or feel another painful bump forming, it’s hard to be patient. I miss the version of my skin that was at least predictable, even if it wasn’t perfect.

Still, I signed up for this. I knew it wouldn’t be easy. And if there’s anything I’ve learned from years of beauty writing, it’s that true skin transformations don’t happen overnight. So for now, I’m leaning into the small comforts like slathering on my thickest lip balm, layering hydrating serums like my life depends on it, and avoiding magnifying mirrors at all costs. Because in a few months, I’ll look back on this and know it was worth it. Right?

I know that isotretinoin is the gold standard for acne management. It’s the one treatment that dermatologists turn to when nothing else works. In a few months, I’ll be so grateful I stuck with it. But right now, in the thick of the purge, when my skin feels like it’s betraying me, that certainty is hard to hold onto.

It’s in these moments that everything I preach about self-confidence is truly tested. It’s easy to feel good about yourself when your skin is glowing, your hair is cooperating, and your makeup is sitting perfectly. But what about when everything feels out of your control? When your face is red and swollen, and no amount of skincare can "fix" it overnight? This is when confidence actually matters, not as a concept, but as something you actively practice.

So, I remind myself: I am not my skin. My worth isn’t tied to whether or not I have acne. And while I don’t feel my best right now, I’m choosing to trust the process. This is temporary. This is progress. And this, too, will be worth it.